A Modest Proposal 4.6

BY DAN ROGERS - DIAMOND LAKE, WASHINGTON - USA

Dan’s plan

“None of the crew here at the Frankenwerke actually watch TV shows. You could say that we are “inner driven.” I think that’s the psychobabblers’ description. But. One of the guys says he did in fact watch a trailer spot for one of the murder and mayhem shows. He could even recite the scene for me. “

Cold Case De-FEC-tive.

None of the crew here at the Frankenwerke actually watch TV shows. You could say that we are “inner driven.” I think that’s the psychobabblers’ description. But. One of the guys says he did in fact watch a trailer spot for one of the murder and mayhem shows. He could even recite the scene for me.

Doc: “This looks pretty bad. I got three entrance wounds. only one or two exits. bleeding internally. gotta’ operate. now!…”

Hapless sidekick: “.But. but doc. is’ee gonna’ make it.???”

Doc: “.Why do you ask?… Did he owe you money?…”




And then the TV switched to an Allstate commercial. But, at least we had somewhere to start. And, I do admit to watching a fair amount of news channel broadcasts, from time to time. That’s where I learned to combine complex actions. Into a one-size-fits-all term. I’ll try one on you. “.bombing and strafing run carried out with ‘surgical precision’.” combined with “.collateral damage.” and with a dash of “.friendly fire.” tossed in for what they refer to as “balanced reporting.”

That combines into a simple phrase, everybody can understand: “Awwwwww. shittttttttt!!!” A universal truth.

I mentioned-rather stridently, in fact-in a previous installment that I had delayed tarping Gypsy Wagon just a wee bit longer than I should have. Somehow a whole bunch of liquid-state water was sitting on top of even more solid-state water. The latter being ensconced under the floor, under the berths, and even under the old motor mounts and pan. The sad truth about convection is that heat still rises-no matter what some of the talking heads on TV have to say about it. And, since there didn’t seem to be much heat outside the boat to be rising, we had one plus-sized conundrum. That was the day that Riley showed up for work. Riley meant well. In fact, I was right there with him.

Basically, it was that “surgical precision” thing. And, I did take a pretty long gander at the work bench next to my gurney when I went in for that total knee replacement surgery a few months back. Their tools looked a whole lot like mine. Think sawzall and angle grinder, for starters.

Riley was just trying to get the liquid state stuff to drain from the front of the bus to the back and out the drain hole. He assured me that he could tell when the drill bit went from the soaked wood floor into the airspace above the hull skin – and that he would just stop drilling. Surgical precision if ever I thought such a thing could exist.

Seems. Ice and soaked wood and thin fiberglass all “feel” about the same. Especially if it’s about 10 degrees outside and your fingers have long since ceased to send messages to your brain about that particular fact. So, I wasn’t real surprised to note a persistent drip from under the hull. Right above one of the trailer rollers. And, there’s another universal truth at work here. “What goes out. comes back in.”

So, there I was, today. Kneeling on my bionic knee-“in flagrant disregard for my own safety and wellbeing”-as I used to put on medal citations back in a different time and place.

The idea was, and still is, to get to the inside of the boat where Riley squeezed off a couple of half-inch “rounds.” All-I-gotta-do-is. clean it up, grind it smooth, and patch the wound. This is where the ER crew left off. They weren’t real clear about why they didn’t complete the operation. But, they were pretty sure that my erstwhile buddy had what they call a “reasonably well tolerated condition.” And, the bleeding seems to have slowed down a bunch, already.

Plenty. But too late.

There’s an exit wound up under there. Someplace.

Just a “soft-tissue” wound. Aughta’ heal up in no time.

There’s another one of Riley’s rounds here. Someplace.

And. There it is. Right next to the scalpel!

Doc says. “Just debreed the wound. Sutcher, and put a hot compress on it for a day or two.”

OK. Got it?

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